by TOM DOTY
Times Columnist
2 years ago | 73 views | 0

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A talented cast and breakneck pacing distinguish this return to the “slasher” cycle of films.
Director Adam Green has said that his intent was to duplicate the 1980s-style horror movie, but he actually soars above that goal by injecting the film with loads of humor and over-the-top gore. Unlike a 1980s horror fest, this one provides you with characters that are over 18 and actually gives them more to do than party and wait around to be killed by a superhuman psycho in a plastic mask.
The film opens in a misty swamp, where father-and-son poachers are looking to grab some gators. After a banal conversation about the logistics of relieving one's bladder we get a first, albeit false, scare as the son decides to go over the side of the canoe. A gator (about the size of a Volkswagen) doesn't take kindly to Cajuns who treat his home like a fire hydrant and springs up long enough to teach the young man some manners, and give him a stain that will be hard to explain.
The gator scene is quickly followed by a vague humanoid shape which rips the men apart and we are off to the races.
Next up the film shifts to the French Quarter of New Orleans. Here we meet the despondent Ben, who has just broken up with the girl he had dated since seventh grade. His buddies are mostly drunk frat guys looking for the next Mardi Gras party, but all Ben wants is to go on a haunted swamp tour. He gets his wish when his best friend Marcus opts to keep him company.
The tour group is an eclectic bunch that transcends the usual suspects in a slasher film and includes: Marybeth, a withdrawn girl; Misty and Jenna, models there to film bits of a “Girls Gone Wild”-style film; Shapiro, a film maker with no shame; and the Permatteos, a retired couple who speak like they walked off the set of “Fargo” to be in this movie. The group is led by a shady character named Shawn, who appears to have little experience with the region, though that doesn't stop him from trying to sound like he's always in the know.
The group heads out to the swamp after an embarrassing bus tour where the Permatteos show that they read up on Cajun lore and challenge all of Shawn's patter. Shawn does get their attention by telling the story of Victor Crowley and here things get interesting. Through flashback we get the whole story of a deformed boy raised in the swamp by his loving dad. We get to see how he was ostracized for looking different and how a prank by local kids backfired and set his house ablaze with the boy trapped inside. When dad came to the rescue, he had to break in using a hatchet which wound up wounding the boy, who was cowering on the other side of the door as dad chopped it down.
This bit explains to the audience who killed the poachers, but our tourists appear to know nothing and are soon trapped in Crowley country when their boat sinks.
The stranded tourists observe a house in the swamp and begin to make for it until Marybeth speaks up and says that it is the Crowley house. She reveals that her father and brother went missing in the area two nights before and that she took the tour to investigate their whereabouts. She goes on to note that nobody comes there because of the Crowley legend, which made the area attractive to her desperate dad. Turns out there is something to fear and Crowley promptly shows up and hacks away at the Permatteoes.
The movie doesn't fool around here and their fate is graphically over-the-top demonstrating that special effects men are still capable of blowing away CGI. The group panics like Britney Spears when she spots flashing blue lights in her rearview mirror and quickly abandons the best strategy here by splitting up.
They eventually regroup and we learn that everyone has a secret, especially Shawn, who turns out to be a Detroit hustler still learning the ropes in the Big Easy. They eventually decide to fight back, but Crowley is as indestructible as any 1980s horror creature and he proceeds to whittle down the cast like “Gong Show” rejects.
What separates this one from the pack is the editing, which makes for a quick ride (under 90 minutes) and doesn't allow for time to catch a breath.
Then there are the characters who are actually fun to be around. Ben is a good lead as he proves resourceful and has a sardonic outlook which resembles the early seasons of “Friends” when David Schwimmer was allowed to be morose and consequently funny.
Marybeth makes for a tough final girl, though even this cliché is upended in the final scene, which I won't ruin here.
All of the characters are allowed to be funny, with the two actresses topping the list as they are shown to be real people desperate enough for fame in a “reality TV” culture that they would abandon their dignity, and clothing, at the drop of a hat.
The real surprise here is Kane Hodder as Crowley, and in flashbacks as his own dad. He was always good as a lumbering killer (witness his work in the “Friday the 13th” films), but here he also shows he can emote with the best of them.
Top it all off with New Orleans as a scenic backdrop and you have a perfect slice of 2007 cheese. This should fill the bill for those who are starved for an 1980s-style horror picture made with more respect for the genre than most 1980s filmmakers could muster.
Best line: “But you only shot him once, right? Maybe you gotta shoot him more times, like four or six. Maybe you gotta shoot him six times.”
2007, unrated edition.